70+ Funny Wine Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Do you love wine? We certainly do. On top of being a fun way to get a little tipsy, a glass of wine offers a classy vibe for any occasion. Whether you're looking to unwind at the end of a long day or you just want some entertainment while sipping on happy hour wine, we've found great wine quotes from legendary drinkers like Louis Pasteur, Charles Baudelaire, and Lord Byron. Even if you scoff at anyone who doesn't drink old wine, these funny wine quotes will have you giggling until you've reached cloud wine.

People in the world need to drink more wine, and maybe they'll find some smiles on the way too. These funny wine quotes are popular for a reason, so make sure you read them with a wine glass in hand since it's always wine o'clock somewhere, right?

Funny wine quotes

1. "A meal without wine is called breakfast." — Anonymous
2. “Work is the curse of the drinking class." — Oscar Wilde
3. "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food." — W.C. Fields
4. "A good friend knows how you take your coffee. A great friend adds wine." — Anonymous"
5. Age and glasses of wine should never be counted." — Anonymous
6. "A good friend knows how you take your coffee. A great friend adds wine." — Anonymous
7. "Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." — Homer Simpson
8. "I drink to make other people interesting." — Groucho Marx
9. "Wine is the answer. What was the question?" — Anonymous
10. "My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror." — Rodney Dangerfield

Witty wine quotes

1. “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat, you need it.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte
2. "Wine is the most civilized thing in the world." — Ernest Hemingway
3. "And wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile." — Alexander Pope
4. "Wine is meant to be enjoyed with friends, or even with strangers who are friends in waiting." — Julia Child
5. "Wine a little, laugh a lot." — Anonymous
6. "I drink champagne when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it—unless I’m thirsty." — Lily Bollinger
7. "Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy." — Alexander Fleming
8. "I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee. I judge a good wine by the cheese and the conversation." — Burt Lancaster
9. "Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance." — Benjamin Franklin
10. "He who knows how to taste does not drink wine but savors secrets." — Salvador Dali
11. "Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others." — Samuel Johnson

Silly wine quotes

1. "What wine goes with Captain Crunch?" — George Carlin
2. “Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins
3. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.” — Eduardo Galeano
4. "Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient Champagne." — Dorothy Parker
5. "Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner." ― Madeline Puckette
6. “The first duty of wine is to be red. Don't talk to me of your white wines.” ― Henry Murger
7. "Wine flies when you’re having fun." — Anonymous
8. "The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to a) mate with, b) eat, c) run away from, and d) rocks. That is until wine was invented." — Terry Pratchett
9. "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." — Jill Shalvis
10. "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." — Humphrey Bogart

Classy wine quotes

1. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” ― Louis Pasteur
2. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin
3. "My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine." — Ernest Hemingway
4. “My only regret in life is that I didn't drink enough Champagne.” ― Robert Noecker
5. "A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. 'Much obliged,' said he, pushing the plate aside, 'I am not accustomed to taking my wine in pills.'" — Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
6. "Wine: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad." — Anonymous
7. "A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover." — Clifton Fadiman
8. “Wine is the only artwork you can drink.” — Luis Fernando Oliverri
9. "Beer is made by men, wine by God." — Martin Luther
10. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic.” — Kathy Mattea
11. "Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile." — Homer

Fine wine quotes for Instagram

1. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” — Anonymous
2. "Wine is sunlight, held together by water." — Galileo Galilei
3. "Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures." — M.F.K. Fisher
4. "I like on the table, when we're speaking, the light of a bottle of intelligent wine." — Pablo Neruda
5. "Wine is a necessity of life for me." — Thomas Jefferson
6. "Just as the best wines are made with the oldest vines, the best lessons are learned from old." — Robert Louis Stevenson
7. “Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” — Benjamin Franklin
8. "There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne." — Bette Davis
9. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” — Anonymous
10. “Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, and makes weariness forget his toil.” — Lord Byron
11. "Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle." — Paulo Coelho

Quotes for friends that drink wine

1. “Wine and friends are a great blend.” — Ernest Hemingway
2. "One should always be drunk. That's all that matters ... but with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk." ― Charles Baudelaire
3. "Good company, good wine, good welcome can make good people." — William Shakespeare
4. “Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life's most civilized pleasures.” — Michael Broadbent
5. "Every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine." — LeAnn Rimes
6. "True friends and great wine have a lot in common. Both get better over time." — Unknown
7. "Wine rejoices the heart of man, and joy is the mother of all virtues." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
8. "Wine to me is passion. It's family and friends. It's warmth of heart and generosity of spirit." — Robert Mondavi
9. "In wine, there’s truth, and in friendship, there is joy." — Pliny the Elder
10. "Wine is bottled poetry, best shared with friends." — Robert Louis Stevenson

Quotes for wine cheers

1. "Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ― Louis Pasteur
2. "A meal without wine is like a day without sun." — Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
3. "There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne." — Bette Davis
4. "I make pour decisions." — Anonymous
5. "Fair thoughts and happy hours attend on you." — William Shakespeare
6. "Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much. Especially if there's wine involved." — Helen Keller
7. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star. Point us to the nearest bar." — Anonymous
8. "I drink coffee because I need it, and wine because I deserve it." — Anonymous
9. "I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves." — Emma Bombeck
10. “Where there is no wine, there is no love.” — Euripides
11. "I like my wine like my soul: red and full-bodied." — Haruki Murakami